Working on The Guy from the Wedding has me thinking a lot about writing effective conflict between the two main characters of a monogamous contemporary romance. Particularly in an angsty romance that draws on the Enemies to Lovers trope. The challenge, which I realise now I've always struggled with, is:

How do you justify two characters getting so mad at each other, while still letting them be redeemable?

Trading barbs is always fun — nothing like a war of words to escalate the tension. But there needs to be a line, doesn't there? A line you don't cross, because it'll be unbelievably difficult to come back once you've crossed it.

Real life conflict is interesting, because quite often people do cross that line and still come back from it. Maybe the offender makes up for it off-page, maybe the offended is just irrationally forgiving, maybe it's a character quirk for both of them that relies on mutual understanding to overcome. But when there's no room to capture all that between the covers of a book, you end up painting an incomplete picture of redemption. It might send the wrong message about what's okay and what's not.

I did worry, when writing The Guy from the Park that Dan's flash of anger might have been too much to come back from. After all, it's so darned unpleasant getting verbally attacked by a stranger in a public place, even when the attack is mild! That's gotta be survival instinct playing up there.

I suppose that's why he and Sabrina making peace didn't seem too far-fetched, because we're all human at the end of the day. We're all subject to our survival instincts, and we're not always at our best.

So, "Wedding"... The opening sequence involves two people who don't hit it off at a wedding. The only sparks flying are the bad kind, after this pair inadvertently offend each other right up until the first barb is flung. You'll see what I mean when the next excerpt gets shared (not sure when yet, but I'll keep you posted in my newsletter). I hope it's not too nasty to come back from. This is meant to be a sweet romance, after all.

What I've learned so far about writing romantic conflict

1. Context is vital for believable conflict.

The assumption is that the main characters of a story are reasonable and relatable, because that's how people see themselves and those they care about. For a conflict to be believable, readers need to know why the people involved react the way they do.

Quite often, formative experiences can be at the heart of conflict, which is why character development creates a richer story. Hinting at or exploring specific experiences that shape one's behaviour and decision-making will ultimately give readers are more nuanced appreciation for the romance.

2. Conflict must not deliberately inflict severe damage.

There are degrees of pain we're willing to accept within the context of a romance. Emotional pain is one, maybe a little physical pain and even injury if the intention wasn't to damage. For a reconciliation to be acceptable, the offender must not mean to do harm, and any harm done must be reversible or recoverable before the Happily Ever After.

Of course, this is very subjective and context-specific. Also note that intention not to damage is different to negligence and wilful ignorance, which might be considered (in my opinion) indirect intention to allow damage to happen.

3. Resolving conflict must be ongoing

When someone tries to brush off a big wrong with a small apology, I just find it so unattractive. Maybe this was acceptable in the old days, when less emphasis was placed on how emotional experiences drive behaviour and humanity, but romance has evolved since then. Personally, I'm not one for grand gestures. Romance to me is about personal demonstrations of sincerity, sustained throughout the life of a relationship. People aren't perfect and time wears on. Even a HFN (Happy For Now) must inspire realistic optimism for the couple.

When the two main characters finally overcome their differences, what they learned from the conflict must follow them into the future of their relationship — otherwise, what's the point?

Writing update

The Guy from the Wedding is now in revision. Still unsure when it'll be ready for release, but my personal feeling is it'd be nice to let this baby fly sometime in Q4 2023. Fingers crossed!

Until then, if you haven't checked out The Guy from the Internet yet, go treat yourself to a little #OwnVoices Asian-Australian contemporary romance.